Odd nowhere emotions

‘Yeah, there’s some vibe that makes all that.’ His tones much more whispered than I expected, and even more so than when he’d first spoke. He took a little glance outside, clocking the tremendous light spectacle. ‘What would you call it?’ I knew the question was difficult, but I asked it anyway. ‘Oh, I’ve tried... this place is awesome, but it’s like you say, it beats you when you go to define it.’ He ended that line with a flicker of melancholy, as though whatever evaded him meant more than he was showing during this hum-drum conversation.

‘Right, sir, you want me to replace the towels in the bathroom now, or later?’ I green-lighted him to do it immediately. I wanted to get on, to finalise the business admin before my real bed-down in hopefully not too many hours. And while I became engrossed in my procrastinating he must have slipped out, but he did so silently and I didn’t realise for some time that I was alone once more.

Now, even though I’d been kissed by the feeling for a while, it was getting late. Unable to reach sleep now I’d decided I wanted it, I drifted into childish thoughts about the ridiculousness of the hotel, about the looseness of all these transient places where no one lives; where everyone’s just passing through. Sort-of-homes constructed to make guests feel as though they belonged, designed with the purpose of being a safety net against the dangerous outsides. Pure comfort zones.

But I couldn’t convince myself that they were any more than hollow arenas of almost-lives and of fading souls, hospitality crafted for specific purposes, made for temporary circumstances, leading to small artificial cities glistening with some kind of spirit that would inevitably evaporate. There was a sense in me that I longed for that mini-atmosphere to remain forever, that I was sad these interchanges would cease.

It was a foolish hankering, but I carried on, against my own knowledge, against reality. What was this place? I’d never be a part of it, because its essence was so false. I was in a middle place. Thoughts then, of faces melting into nothingness, the soft tincture of possibilities bursting a little, colourless spaces, just as I was growing closer to that covered world of sleep, getting there, embracing the darkness...

A fresh day. Or was it? Probably. The odd nowhere emotions remained, night had gone, and here I was. I pulled the curtains back and stood in the majesty of that vista again. What about the time? I gathered up my important things and got prepared for the last deals, sorting out the record pressing, the distribution. All essential. I knew the intricacies, I just had to say everything I wanted to, and in the right way, to make it happen.

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