Clocked my awe

The moments were unique. Capsules of time I’d never lose, those that were glinting, unlike others that vanish, compressed between the junk of years. What was I looking at? he must have wondered, and he surely clocked my awe. Possibly it just washed over him. But I was struck by a blessed feeling far beyond the simple nature of this fleeting interchange. And beyond the margins of the accommodation, a distant speck from shadowy origins. He hadn’t said anything profound, either, just usual stuff, and yet, the understated majesty projected these words, made them massive.

‘I get that.’ I surprised myself that I’d broken the silence, which probably wasn’t as silent or as lengthy as I recall. ‘I’d be the same, I think. I’d get in a routine, get a feel for the place. Especially in one like this, wow, it’s massive, that big? ok, great, you must find new bits all the time, it’s like a city.’

‘True, true, it’s my territory. I know passageways, shortcuts, I see bits the guests don’t see. It’s as though I’m floating sometimes. I couldn’t go. And I do enjoy it, still. There’s a magic to meeting new faces – you included! – wherever I may be, and to the sort of flexible routine that comes with the job.’

Brightness filling the space. Against, maybe, and I hadn’t seen this in him before, a deeper, fleeting speck, of a brand of pain, just there and bidding to neuter the untrimmed serenity. It was a brief shadow, though. I barely saw it. And, influenced by my own state of mind, the tiredness, the constant flux in my feelings, I think I possibly exaggerated the bruise it left on me. Me, looking for any problem.

That sweeping darkness signalled a movement in the pattern of the interchanges, and marked an end to this one. ‘So, I must go – work to do.’ Once more, my response was probably timid staring back. Looking unsure. ‘Goodbye. How long do you stay. Did I ask that?’

‘No, no. I don’t think you did. Another two nights. Maybe we speak again.’ ‘Sure, let’s see what my rota brings.’ Scooting off with the towels and a refined aroma, he departed that room again, leaving the entrails of delicate mystery.

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